Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
