Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The beer is more important than you right now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
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Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
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Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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