i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
