I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
