dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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