I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize