Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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