i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
