I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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