he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
