like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
