The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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