Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
