doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
A+ Viking dick
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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