everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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