Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I can text with my tongue
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
