He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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