when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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