Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
