Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
