i barfeds in our rink
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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