from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
