i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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