My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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