I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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