I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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