So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
