I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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