Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
