Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
