Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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