Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
