just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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