You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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