i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
