my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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