Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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