u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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