His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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