I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
