I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
