I haven't been this sober since birth.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
