It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
