I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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