dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.