lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible