I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.