Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize