I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We are two peas in an std pod
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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