This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He keeps bees of course he's weird
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
