Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
