just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
