3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
