Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Randomize
