i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
