and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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