Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
