there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
