They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
