even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
