Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
