I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
