I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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